Have you ever felt like you were suffocating every day? Like somewhere you got caught up in just surviving each day, that you forgot you had a life to live? Each year that passes makes you feel like you're sinking deeper into the depths of being mediocre, unsatisfied and never living your dreams.
For me, I knew I'd reached that point, during a time when the outside world would have considered my life to be at it's best. My husband and I were running a successful business. On paper we were awesome. But underneath the veil, I was a mess. Between employees, business deals, and being a mother and a wife, I was tired, unsatisfied and overwhelmed. But it was deeper than that.
A part of me knew that I was meant to do more with my life. I'd been complacent.
And at that point, I couldn't tell you who I was, what I wanted, and in what way I could add value to the world. I didn't know my purpose. I was going through the motions, living a life of obligation, trying to meet everyone's expectations except for my own.
I knew that there was something else for me, and if I was to ever live my purpose, I'd have to make a change.
But change is so uncomfortable, even when it's what you choose.
You see, my biggest obstacle was never my business, the outside demands or anyone else. I mean, yeah it would be easier to blame them. But the truth is, I'd made those decisions. It was up to me to resolve my life. I suspect you are starting to realize this truth.
As women, we somehow believe that being a good person means sacrificing ourselves.
You get so used to giving and being there for everyone else, that you forget how to properly love and care for yourself. The more you do that, the more you notice that the real you slips away; Until you no longer recognize yourself. I'd look in the mirror and wonder, when did I go from a confident, self-assured woman who believed in herself, to someone who was constantly filled with discontent and self-doubt?
I had to relearn how to believe in myself again. And eventually I did. I made a firm commitment to myself and I hope you do the same. Here it is...
There is no way that i am going to leave this world, without doing something exceptional with my life and giving it all that i have!
I mean, think about it:
You come into this world with certain gifts, and a particular set of desires. As you progress through life, you create a picture of the person you want to be.
Every person, without exception.
So there is no doubt in my mind that there is something important you're here to do.
Something exciting and fulfilling; something that will impact, thrill, excite or inspire someone else; maybe the world. Something that fills you with the sense that this was where you were always meant to be. Something that expands your life and makes you feel prosperous and complete.
Whenever I write, whether it's fiction or personal development, I always feel this way.
And if this is the way that life chooses to use me, I want to be thoroughly used the hell up. I want to be consumed and on fire - the absolute best at what I do!
This is how you turn your pain into passion, and into prosperity.
You see, each one of us is a creator, innovator, designer, wizard, philosopher, thinker, tinkerer, warrior or sorceress. But 95% of us go through life never expressing or living our true genius.
We get caught up in the drama and b.s. of every day life. We wake up each day to go to jobs or consume media that caters to everyone else's agendas but our own. We're programmed like a computer to be what the world wants us to be, instead of what we choose. We gradually lose our way, until a time comes where we can't figure out who we are and what it is we really want. It's as if you've neglected your dreams for so long that they up and walked away.
The key to fixing this lies in bringing your focus from the outside world, back within.
That's when you get in touch with who you are, and get real about what you want. You discover that you're full of dreams, and there's a trust fund of moments and magic, stored up in a treasure chest for you.
And if you can gain the courage to do what you're afraid of, then this magic becomes your truth.
Are you ready to live your truth? Let's get into the 5 steps you need to define and manifest your purpose.
(I'm going to tell you right now, #3 is my favorite, and to me the most important.)
Step 1. Imagine Your Perfect Day
Take an hour to yourself, with a journal or notebook. It's important that you find a spot where you won't be interrupted. That could be in your bedroom, hiding out in your closet, in your bathtub, or at the back of a near empty bookstore. Wherever you need to go to be one with your self.
Now close your eyes and just imagine your perfect day, a day in which no obligations or burdens were hindering you. What time would you wake up? What's the first thing you would do? Do you exercise at home or are you a member of a gym? Who's in your life and how would you interact with them? What arrangements would you have made in your home to make life flow?
What do you do for a hobby? Think about things you used to love to do. Entertain thoughts you haven't considered for years now. Where would you go, and what would you be doing for a living? Who are your friends? What do you do socially and for fun?
Think about your perfect day from beginning to end. Zone out in your imagination and don't allow any guilt or negative thoughts to seize your mind.
Now, jot your thoughts down on paper. They don't even have to be complete sentences. As long as they paint the picture of the life you want to live, being the person you want to be.
Going within and getting in touch with yourself is the first key.
Step 2. Do a Modified Memoir
One thing that we often face, especially as women, is having the feeling that we're not worthy or qualified enough to do the work we want. But usually these are just stories that we're telling ourselves. The Modified Memoir is an exercise to help eliminate some of this professional self-doubt.
This is an exercise that I made up and I've been doing every year since I was in college. It’s incredibly powerful. Grab a notebook and simply create a short memoir of anything significant that happened in your life. Every failure, setback, hardship or disappointment you’ve managed to overcome. Every accomplishment, goal achieved, or honor you’ve received. No matter how small it may seem, it is living proof that when you set your mind to something, you can do whatever you want. Once you witness the proof of your progress on paper, you'll never let mediocre people tear you down.
3. Speak it Into Existence
Immerse yourself in what it is that you want to do. Read a few books about it. Practice it, even when it's hard. Talk about it to yourself, and make plans. Treat your dream as if it's coming is inevitable. Affirm it to yourself in the mirror each morning and night. Talk to yourself about it in your car when you're alone. Yes, you'll feel like a fool, but so what! It's actually kind of fun. Think about what your conversations would be like if you were living your dream.
Okay, so getting back to "speaking this into existence," - What's the purpose of all this?
Because believing is seeing.
You read that right. "Believing is seeing." And if you can inspire yourself and fill yourself with a sense of belief, your actions will soon follow. The more you talk about it, the more clear it will be each day. You'll find yourself more aligned with the person you want to be. Momentum starts to take place, and momentum in the right direction is the most incredible magic in the world.
4. It's Time to Let Something Go
The reality is this. Just like there are things in your life that you want to expand, create or grow, there are things in your life that you will have to let go.
Let go of clutter, or old furniture that depresses you. Let go of people that are supposedly your friends, who judge you. People that you know, deep inside, secretly want to see you fail.
Let go of negative thinking and your stories of struggle. Be willing to understand that change is not bad, but an inevitable and beautiful part of life. Be willing to move on and anything that doesn't serve you, be willing to let it go.
5. Say "Yes" to Something That You Want But Also Fear
We worry so much about what other people will think if we take a chance on ourselves. We worry about failing - and then we turn around and worry about success. We worry that we'll change. We worry we won't be loved.
We worry ourselves into physical and mental paralysis.
Stop worrying about all of the things you can't control and when moments arise where you usually let fear decide, swallow your fear and say "yes."
Say yes to something that could lead you in a new direction. Speak up when you'd normally hide. Have a voice. Even as you're scared, understand that the more you do, the more your fear will begin to fade. Be willing to see opportunity where everyone else is blind. Be available to what the Universe wants to give to you.
Are you in a space where these are things you can do? Do you accept yourself, in all of your glory and your shit?
Most people want to be better to themselves, but fall short. I have as well too. I need reminders around me, such as pictures, good vibe items like flowers, candles, and books. I often open up my own book to remember to walk my own talk and follow my own advice. And on many occasions, those words have come to my rescue.
If you want a reminder of just how powerful you are, and a guide to design a rich, happy, fulfilling life, while still caring for your family, grab a copy of Lovely, Brave & Brilliant while it's on sale this week.